The Most Important Day?

A discussion on Facebook a couple days ago has got me thinking; Is your wedding day "the most important day in your life"?

The answer is "No."

Now, getting married is the second most important decision in your life, make no mistakes about that (choosing your relationship with God is most important), but the day itself isn't that important.

I have been involved in the planning and execution of many, many weddings over the years. In fact, I am currently called "The Church Wedding Organizer" if anyone wants to use the facility for their wedding, though this isn't really an official job, more a way to make sure the church property is used correctly and to help people make decisions than anything.

One thing I have seen:

Weddings seldom go perfectly.

The flowers go to the wrong church (my wedding, actually), the groom can't find a iron to make his uniform look right (military), the bride gets a run in her hose, the mom shows up drunk or mad or both, etc.

Weddings today are big productions and, as with all big productions, what can go wrong will go wrong.

But it doesn't really matter.

A wedding is simply the day marking a life change.So is are births, deaths, and moves.

In the long run, if your wedding is "The Most Important Day in Your Life" you need to change your life.

Much more important days:

the day your life-mate smiles and laughs,
the day you share an inside joke,
the days your babies are born,
the day you watch your love playing with your toddlers,
the day you see you love talking with your children like adult friends,
the day you make up from a "disagreement,"
the day you decide to move,
the day your own children get married,
the day you hold your first grandchild,
the day you your second grandchild,
etc,
the day you share the sunset with your love,
the day you kiss in the rain,
the day you realize they have a cold so you decide not to take the snappiness personally,
the day the car breaks down and you decide to have a picnic while waiting for a tow truck,
the day you buy your first house,
the day you sell your first house,
the days your parents die,
the day they remarry,
the day you gather with friends and family for the holidays, or church, or a party, or just 'cause, .....

No, your wedding is not the most important day of your life. Not even close. It's just a day to party with friends and family, and celebrating one of many life-changes you will have in your life.

So if (when) something goes wrong on that day, choose to smile and laugh at it, say "Meh," and go on. It's not nearly as important as days to come; not nearly as important as the marriage is.

They need to go.

Originally published on April 25, 2015\

I sat in my living room looking around me.



This came after a week of being frustrated and, I hate to admit it, yelling at my kids.

The house just shouldn't be this dirty. We have this many hands to help, and they DO all help.

But it just isn't enough.

Oh, if I spend two hours in the morning cleaning I can get my bedroom, bath, living room all clean and comfortable.

Or I can get the girl's room clean. (gave up on the older boys years ago)

Or I can get the store room, laundry and kitchen decent.


But I just can't do them all; not and teach my kids too, much less write (and I can't NOT write. God has been very clear about that.)

Then there is the nutritious food thing. That takes time, but our health desperately needs it right now.



While looking at my living room that morning the thought occurred to me "What would I actually need to take with me to survive?

I noticed just how much stuff was in that one room that were keepsakes (things to help me remember things I will never forget anyway, like the framed wedding invitation from our marriage 29 years ago).

...how much stuff was decorations (serve no purpose but to just look at them).

...how much stuff was projects that I/someone will get to someday (but never will, of course).


If I boxed up everything from those three categories and took them to storage, do you know how long it would take me, all by myself, to clean the room with just the things we actually use?

10 minutes.

Maybe.

And truth be told, my 7 year old could do a fair job of it by herself.



So my family is shakled to the house doing housework that never gets done for

• keepsakes
• 
  
• decorations
• 
  
• and projects to make us feel guilty

No more.


Now, I'm not all of a sudden tossing everything out the door.

First I prayed.

Then I surfed for some blogs and articles about minimalism/decluttering and subscribed.

and I am taking one shelf, cupboard, drawer, pile at a time, as the mood strikes me. Nothing systematic or organized.

Yesterday I put half a 15 gallon bag of stuff in the van to go to town (donate to the thrift store that benefits the abused women's shelter in town).

Today I have 5 bags sitting by the door to go out (OK, I cheated. I took all the misshapen pillows that have been serving as backs for the daybed/couch in the living and stuffed them into three of those bags. I only kept those that are still nice looking. There were so many they couldn't be made to look nice and were in the way most of the time anyway.)

Tomorrow I might not take anything out.

Within 2 days I could see a difference and cleaning already went faster.

Each burst of decluttering produces more benefits.

I'm getting projects done, too.


It is time to stop serving things and start serving my family. If that means things need to leave, than they need to leave.