Tuesday, October 14, 2008

What is your most important goal, cont’

Have you been thinking about your goals for your children? Have they changed over the last day? I tell you, when I changed my goals from “Academic Excellence” to “Warriors Worshiping At The Feet Of My King” It revolutionized my family. Oh, it probably looks the same from the outside, but it is now so infused with joy! We now enjoy each other so much more and have so much more peace in our home. And, surprisingly- to the human way of thinking- we have been achieving more academic excellence! “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things (including academic excellence) shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33.

But how exactly do you go about putting heaven first?

Let me give you two sample families;

Family number one says their number one goal is heaven. That is why they are at church every Sunday. Their children joyfully participate in the Sunday morning programs in their class and youth group on Sunday night. They tell their parents all about it. It sometimes bothers the parents when they have more to say about the entertainment value of what was going on or the gossip of their peers, but they are learning about God, right?

Monday morning mom gets everyone up and ready for school. All the children are instructed to remember to be witnesses to their classmates during the day (even though the five year old hasn’t made a confession of faith yet). They spend their day listening to their teachers lecture on different subjects and doing their work from their textbooks. The books are written by committees that are careful to not “offend” anyone, so mom and dad know their children won’t be hearing anything about Islam, Buddhism, or the Wiccan religion. In fact, they won’t hear anything about any God at all. They will study history, science, government, reading, math, grammar, spelling and penmanship, all without the mention of any gods, offensive or not.

When the children get home, mom gives them a snack in front of the TV while they watch their favorite after school program. Some of the language is a bit startling to mom, but she figures standards have changed since she was a kid. It also seems that the parents are always wrong on these shows. Well, parents can be wrong after all.

Supper is eaten in front of the TV. Why do they have to show so many people living together who aren’t married? Oh well. They will meet such people in life so they need to get used to it. An hour or so before bed time, the parents send the children to their rooms to do their homework. Then they tuck them in with a “Now I lay me down to sleep…” prayer.

Everyday is pretty much the same, different only in running each child to their separate sports activities after school. On Saturday, one child has a game, another a banquet, another practice. Dad goes golfing with his buddies and mom goes shopping. Jr. will spend the night with a friend tonight so he will miss church tomorrow, but he is usually there. The parents know their children will eventually come to God and embrace the Bible because they are so faithful in having their children in church on Sunday and doesn’t the Bible promise that “if you train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it?” Well they have done their part by having the children in church once a week haven’t they? They trust God to take care of the rest.

Sound familiar? Know families like this? Been a family like this?





Second family; Sunday starts out much the same. The family gets up and gets ready for church. When they arrive at the church they go in and find a place to sit together. The mom and dad prefer to worship with their children. They feel it bonds the family together. They also know for certain everything their children hear and are taught.

Monday, mom gets everyone up and dressed. After breakfast and chores, they gather in the living room for school. Mom enjoys knowing that none of her children will be bullied nor pressured into doing something the she has taught them not to by their peers. She knows she won’t have to do damage control when school is over.

They begin their school day with prayer and Bible reading. Each child draws a picture of the day’s chapter and tells how it applies to life. Then she dictates a verse from Proverbs to them for them to practice penmanship and spelling on. they discuss the meaning of the verse while they are at it.

Then they sing a hymn. Their church doesn’t sign the old hymns often and momma loves them so. She has drawn so much strength from them in hard times that she wants her children to have that tool also.

History and science both begin with creation studies. After all that is where both subjects start. History is taught chronologically, mixing the Bible stories in where they fit in the timeline. The kids are surprised to learn that Daniel and Plato lived about the same time. All of history is taught with an eye out for God’s hand working. They see how often countries that deny His principles fall and how He blesses those that obey Him.

Science is studied to discover God’s marvelous hand in our Universe. Part of their studies are to learn evolution, but the children have no trouble picking out the logic flaws in the theory. They are well founded in true, observational science. Above all, glory is given to God for the things in our world.

The older children do their math and grammar while mom teaches the five year old to read. He hasn’t asked Jesus into his heart yet, but today he asks mom questions about God and sin. She explains it to him until he is satisfied he understands.

Mom corrects each child’s work and has him read her his reading lesson. She points out how the child in Jr’s lesson was rewarded for his honesty in the long run even though it cost him his birthday dollar in the short run.

After school, the children go out back to play while mom catches up on emails and some housework. Some friends come over so mom serves a snack on the patio and hangs around to listen to what is going on. When she hears a neighbor child use an inappropriate word, she explains to him that they don’t use that word in their house and why. She makes sure she does so with a non- judgmental attitude, but gives logical reasons why they have the rules they do. The children play until daddy gets home, and then tell him all the things they learned that day. He tells them about his day and then they go to the supper table. Daddy gives God thanks for the food and everyone enjoys the meal seasoned with laughter and jokes.

After supper the children play until bed time. Then they all pick a book and gather in the living room where mom reads to them. The younger children pick cat-in-the-hat type books, but the older children pick chapter books. On any given day they might read Tom Sawyer, Heidi, Little House on the Prairie, the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, and the Hobbit. Mom or dad will stop to discuss parts of the books that apply to life and teach lessons. Then mom reads a chapter from the bible and they all sing a hymn together. They each find something to thank God for and pray, asking God to bless their family, friends, church and country.

There is no TV because the parents don’t approve of the values taught on TV (consumerism, sex, violence, greed) and know they can’t always be right there to teach their children different than what is being taught by Hollywood. They also think children have better things to do than zonk in front of the Boob Tube. Things like running, building tree houses, making forts, rescuing (or being) the fair maiden, reading, writing their own stories, drawing, playing music, etc. Goodness, there isn’t enough time in a day as it is without spending the eight hour per day the average child spends in front of TV!

Each school day is pretty much the same, except Friday when they go help the single lady from church move to a new apartment. On the way home, one of the children asks where her husband is. Mom explains the best she can about sin and its effects on people and their lives. This lady may not have done anything wrong, but she is suffering the effects of other’s sin.

Saturday the family goes for a drive together. Some drives have lots of jokes. Others have songs, “pretends,” or philosophy questions discussed. When they get home they get ready for church the next day (baths, make sure they have all the clothes they need, etc.). Then it’s movie time! Daddy picks a movie or old TV show on DVD for the family to watch together. Though they try to pick God-honoring things, sometimes things sneak through mom and dad forgot about from their childhood. They use these as chances to teach their children. Dad isn’t above stopping a movie in the middle to discuss the underlying philosophy of the current plot. They make a point of pointing out that every show has an underlying philosophy and it either honors God or denies Him. The children soon get good at figuring out the philosophy of each show. Reading and prayer and to bed for the start of another week.

This mom and dad believe child training happens every waking moment (Duet. 6:7); that everything a child experiences “writes on his book” of character. Ephesians 6 tells them to “not frustrate their child but to bring him up in the culture and education of the Lord.” They try to craft a truly godly culture in their home and to make the children’s education center around God and His plan for humanity. They don’t frustrate their children by having them straddle two opposite cultures. They carefully expose their children to the negative effects of sin while making sure their home is full of fun and happiness. They know they can’t make their children choose to serve God, but thy can make it so attractive and so ingrained that they find God irresistible.

Which family is most likely to achieve their goal of seeing their children in heaven?

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