Rebooting Life

We all know that when you have a computer problem the first thing you do is reboot. I heard a radio tech guy once say to reboot three times in a row. That will reset most anything and solve many, many problems.

My mom was not just my mom. She was my best friend, Woman's Pastor, art and music teacher for my kids, and so much more. When she died, I was left not really even knowing who I was.

My primary job all my adult life has been Hubby's Assistant. But a close second has always been Mom's Assistant. If I'm not doing that, who am I?

I now find, looking back, that ever since she was diagnosed with cancer I have been rebooting parts of my life.

• I switched to a self-teaching method of homeschooling for a while. Came back to my preferred method a little more than a year ago.
• Sold my chickens. Coyotes were eating them anyway. Re-bought new ones a year and a half ago. 
• Quit gardening (not that I've ever been a big gardener, but I did use to do a bit each spring). Just plain quit (my oldest has kept the trees alive during that time). Began gardening again this June, probably more than ever. 
• Haven't sewn, or done many crafts at all in a long time. Not sure how much I even want to. I'm good at them, but don't really enjoy them all that much.
• Took time off doing sermon videos. 
• Pretty much have neglected the church website. All my other blogs, too. 
• Haven't written much at all.

It's been like, unconsciously, I've been trying life without one thing after another to decide what I really want to bother with.  For a while I only took care of the house, kids, Hubby, and bits and pieces absolutely necessary for the church.

I actually had time to take a nap in the afternoon if I wanted to!

Kind of decluttering me.

Conclusions:

• I am trying to spend more time with family, do more stuff with them and less on the computer.
• Much of the computer church stuff I was doing isn't necessary and won't be resumed. Some will, though.
• I want animals. I feel better mentally when I have them around (I mean besides the dog and cat.) I like playing "farmer." And now that a couple of our boys have jobs and won't be free to go on vacation with us anyway, I have someone to feed them when I am out of town.
• I finally found a way to garden I think I can handle and enjoy. I don't like digging, and it seems like a waste of time to de-plant a garden bed, dig it all up, plant, weed, harvest, and then have to do it all again next year. With permaculture/no-dig methods I fix the beds once and then just maintain, chop-and-dropping the plants that grow up to be the mulch for next year. I think I can actually handle this! 
• I need to write. Don't know that I'll do more books, but there are many other options in this high tech age for writing. Blogs, for example, are much simpler. And available away from the house without carrying a box of books around.

 Don't know what the future holds, but I am deciding what I want it to include and what I don't. It really is OK to not do everything. Even things I'm good at. It's OK to let them go.