Advise in a rant

I have had feminists tell me that feminism is about women being able to make choices, not about making everyone make the same choice to work outside the home. But that is simply not what I see. I see that any choice except "go to college, find a career, delay marriage and motherhood, work your whole life" is assumed to be bad. Sigh.

In reading these two articles, I have come up with advise for young women, say in their late teens:

You will most likely live to be 80. You will have 62 years after you graduate high school to make decisions and live your life. plot out your life to take advantage of peek times for each event.

The time in you life when you will have the biggest selection of men to choose from is your late teens to early twenties. By the time you hit 30 the smart women will have snatched up all the good ones and all you will have left is leftovers. Be one of the smart ones.

First of all, assume you won't marry Mr. Perfect. Why? The only Mr. Perfect that ever walked this planet died on a cross 2000 years ago to save you from your sins. Everyone else is a flawed human being. Decide which flaws you can live with and which ones you can't tolerate (I can handle a bossy man, for example, but not a violent one. I married a wonderful though slightly bossy man who doesn't have a violent bone in his body). Look at the men available to you in light of this and pick a few to investigate further. Hopefully you find one willing to tolerate your flaws too. (and a modern twist- Google your perspective mate!!! Pay the money and do the research to make sure you are getting a good man, not a preditor. Be paranoid and persistent. Suggest he do the same.)

Marry young. I know the studies say you have a better chance of not divorcing if you wait, but the studies are flawed. They study a population where the young marriages are generally due to unwed pregnancy, not intelligent planning of the couple. Our ancestors used to marry at 14-16 and live together for the rest of their lives. This is due to being truly prepared for marriage and being truly committed. You have a very good chance of making it if you enter marriage intelligently and not hormonally (though that hormonal attraction does need to be there. It just shouldn't be the only deciding factor.)

Delay sex until after marriage. There are many good reasons God commanded this in the Bible. One is that without the hormones or sexual expectation clouding your every date you can focus on getting to know each other. And for heaven's sake DON'T LIVE TOGETHER! That drastically raises the risk of divorce.

Conversely, engagement shouldn't last more than a year, and shorter is good. Our ancestors often had two-month engagements that turned into life-long marriages. It doesn't take that long (after the google search) to get to know a person and see if he will make a good hubby and daddy. Don't date for fun but for the purpose of choosing a mate. If the one you are dating won't make a good mate, drop him and move on. (Love? A choice. For long term love you need sexul attraction PLUS mutal respect and a godly attitude towards marriage. you need the same type of sense of humor and the same goals.)

You will have 62 years after graduation to live and work, but you will only have, at most, 42 years of fertility. And honestly, having your first baby at 50 is very rare. Your peek fertile years are your late teens and twenties. That is also when you have the most energy to keep up with little ones. Your fertility will drop by 50% by the time you turn 30 and continue to plummet every year. Most women are infertile after 40, especially if they haven't had any children yet. It is simply wisest to have your babies as early as possible (after the wedding cermony). This is when your body is best suited for it.

Have many babies. Your body was designed to have babies and the continued periods month after month for years on end puts a tremendous amount of stress on you. Babies leave behind fetal stem cells that your body uses to heal anything that may be fixing to give problems. children are also your best retirement insurance. Well raised children will make sure mommy isn't eating cat food for survival and the more of them there are, the better you will live.

Invest your time in your children. They will grow up to be smarter, more mentally balanced and healthier if you are their primary care provider. One-on-One attention is essential for them to achieve their best. Consider this time not wasted or stuck at home, but an investment in the doctors, lawyer and mommies (you know, the rulers of the world) of tomorrow.

You won't really know who you are or what you want to be until your 30s, no matter how much college you do now, so wait until your babies are older to bother with higher education. Many, Many people spend tens of thousands of dollars to get a degree in an area that they leave in their 30s. Don't waste the money on college for  women (and most men) in their 20s. They will be different people by their 30s anyway. If you begin to train for your preferred career at, say, 40, and it takes five years to complete your training, you can still work in that career for twenty years and have fifteen years of retirement!

If you want both a career and a family it simply doesn't make sense to delay your family until you are the age you can't have it when you can always have career at any age (and enjoy it more too!) Would following my advise guarantee you find  good man, have  passel of kids and then a fulfilling career? No of course not. Life happens. But it increases your odds.

The most important thing of course is to pray. God loves you and will guide you on your unique path if you let Him. but you have to be willing to not listen to our culture's obsession with young careers.

Old fashioned Housewives or new fangled "Home Managers?" Either way, it just makes sense. "'The best person to look after my children is me" You just can't argue with it.

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