What is Home For?

A recent blog at http://parunak.com/pursuingtitus2/2008/10/30/why-modern-motherhood-is-so-much-harder-than-it-ought-to-be/ got me to thinking about the home. The fact is that the purpose of the home has changed for most families over the last 150 years.


Today the home is used for:
• Sleeping
• Eating (One meal per day per family member, not necessarily the same meal at the same time as anyone else in the family.)
• Watching TV
• Making love



That’s about it. Oh, occasionally, maybe, entertaining. But, really, our modern homes, as big and fancy as they are, are no more than refueling stations.



150 years ago homes were used for:
• Sleeping
• Dinning (Everyone in the family together at the table at the same time three times per day! The meal was an experience, not just a refueling. And the food was made by scratch meaning it contained no preservatives, and was simply much more nutritious- and cheaper- than today’s “zap and go” foods.)
• Relaxing and Recreation (This meant reading newspapers and books to each others, talking to family, doing fun handcrafts like knitting, embroidery, whittling, playing horseshoes, holding quilting bees, barn raisings, singing around the piano in the evening, little plays in the living room with mommy and daddy as the audience, in short, just enjoying life and family and friends. It did NOT mean getting your blood going with a good car chase or murder story. How could that be relaxing?!)
• Making love (Some things don’t change ;-)
• Birthing babies (Most babies 150 years ago were born in the same bed they were conceived in. More than half of the women who gave birth in hospitals at this time died of infection, so hospitals were avoided. Even today, infection is one of the biggest killers of women during childbirth. Infections happen far more often in hospitals than in homes where you are already immune to the germs. Many, many studies have proven it is at least as safe for most women and their babies to birth at home, still today, as in a hospital. Many of these studies actually said it was safer at home.)
• Artistic expression (No one thought of hiring someone to decorate their home. The whole house was considered a canvas for the homemaker to express herself on. Women took pride in every aspect of their home, their castle. They often did flower arrangements, paintings, stencils, weavings, quiltings, and many, many other art forms we buy today. Their very house was the expression of who they were.)
• Education (That’s right, the house was the place for education. At this time in American history, most children were simply taught by their parents. Literacy levels of the time were 99.8% compared with the most optimistic estimate of today; 85%. Parents knew it was their responsibility to make sure their children were prepared for the future. Observers of the time claimed every home, even the poorest, had a Bible, law books, and Euclid’s Geometry. Nearly everyone read the newspaper. Education was considered vitally important and one of the main jobs of a family.)
• Making money (The vast majority of families were farmers. They worked together all day to provide the necessities of life for the family, either directly or by growing enough to sell to buy what they couldn’t grow. Other families worked together as store owners. The parents needed the children’s help, the children felt important because they knew they were truly needed, the parents knew they needed to teach their children for the future and the children knew their parents knew a lot about life and what it would take to survive.)
• Nourishing the sick and dying (Today we send sick people to the hospital, sick kid daycare, and elder care. 150 years ago the ill were cared for by those who loved them most and knew best what would make them feel better. Generally, they used time tested herbal remedies grown in their own yard. Yes, serious illness is better treated with modern medicine. But minor ailments are still better cared for with these mild, nourishing herbs handed down for generations.)
• Christian outreach (In most Christian homes, the Bible was read, hymns sung and prayers made after every meal. Christian doctrines were lived in front of the children, as well as discussed all day as a part of life while working. They did not loose 85% of their children to the world as we do. Outreach begins at home. Also, the home was the place to invite friends and neighbors to for dinner and afterwards to join you in your devotions. It was also the place you brought those in need to help them.)

In short, the job of a family was to raise godly children and provide for all their needs (education, food, job training, etc.).

Today it is a refueling station and maybe a place of some of our entertainment. Each individual’s goal is to get as many toys as possible and have as much fun as possible. Family is not a part of those goals.

So, a homemaker 150 years ago was a cook and nutritionist, artist, teacher, doctor, entrepreneur, missionary, manager, musician, and often philosopher, midwife (women know better than a man what a woman needs during childbirth and most communities had several) and part time actress (well, someone needed to play old Sarah in the children’s “Abraham” play). She literally “Made the Home.” She was the center of the families world.

The homemaker of today is a babysitter and short order “zapper” at best. No wonder many feel bored. No wonder the family is torn into pieces. Most people spend more time with co-workers than spouses or children. Most children know their peers and teachers better than their siblings and parents. You can’t build a strong family this way. Oh, yours may be stronger than your neighbor’s, but it isn’t at all strong compared to our ancestor’s.

There is no reason to give into the new ideas of “home.” Our men may be stuck in the “work a day” world, but there is no reason a woman can’t reclaim all the roles listed above. And if she did, she would provide a more pleasant home, nutritious meals, better educated children (homeschoolers skunk even private schools on tests), and healthier family all around. Her family would be much better off and so would she, even if they had to lower their standard of living to allow her to do it. Not only that, but the community would be better off too. There would be someone around to care for the ill instead of relying on government aid, someone to teach the children right from wrong and good work ethics, someone to make the world more beautiful, one room at a time. Less reliance on government means less need for taxes. Less need for taxes means more resources available to grow each family individually. Some women attempting to accomplish this have even been able to get a home business going and bring daddy back home too. This should be our goal. The more the family is physically together the stronger it will be. The more things the family does together the tighter their bonds. I am not talking about “quality time” nonsense spent at the movies not speaking to each other. I am talking about working towards common goals and being truly important members of each other’s lives.

In order to accomplish this, we need women to make homes again.