Monday, May 30, 2011

Leah Hardy used to be delighted that she delayed pregnancy, now she says: I was mad to be a mid-life mother

Leah Hardy used to be delighted that she delayed pregnancy, now she says: I was mad to be a mid-life mother | Mail Online

I once read a letter to an advice columnist asking why her friend had totally forgotten all the "fun" things they did before the friend married and had a baby. "All she wants to do is play with her baby or talk about her baby. No interest in partying anymore." The columnist told her to just be patient and her friend would come back.

My response was "What an idiot answer." Obviously the new mom had discovered that babies are a whole lot more fun that frivolous parties!

I have had babies in my 20's (2), 30's (5) and 40's (Well, I turned 40 10 days after Jane was born so that's close enough, lol. I'll be nearly 44 when this one is born.) There are advantages to all ages. I can say that it is SO MUCH EASIER to be a mom with older children around! Baby gets held more than enough (if it wasn't for breastfeeding I might not get a turn!) and baby has (in Jane's case) eight people home 24/7 who adore her and pay attention to her. If I don't feel like doing crafts or baking cookies, one of her sisters does. If I don't feel like wrestling, one of her brothers does. It's great!

I have often thought women get it all backwards. If you are going to limit yourself to an absurdly small number of babies, do it early on. Marry and have your children right out of high school. (Then if you change your mind and want more, you still have plenty of time. And they are so much fun, who wouldn't want more?) Later, when your children don't really need you anymore and you are mature enough to know what you REALLY want to do with our life and you are more financially stable, go to college and get your degree. Babies won't interfere with your career and, more importantly, your career won't interfere with your babies:-)

And if you want lots of children, start as soon as possible. The best way to guarentee you are fertile enough to have babies in your 40's is to have some in our 20's!

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