Saturday, April 12, 2014

Examples for God's Design for Family

Sloan, Lahl: Inconvenient truths about commercial surrogacy
Surrogate motherhood is the creation of a slave class for the purpose of breeding humans like cattle. It isn't noble or good, but a violation of God's design for families.

LAF/Beautiful Womanhood � Is Stay-At-Home Daughterhood Biblical?

A biblical case for stay-at-home daughterhood.  Fascinating.

My oldest is a Stay-at-Home daughter. She is definitly my right-hand-woman. Things get done now that haven't gotton done for years because of her help.

And during all the health problems of the last year (my mom's breast cancer, dad's pnemonia, sons ruptured appendex, and another son's broken needle in the hand requiering surgury to remove) I had no worries about the house or other children. I knew she was here to care for them all and would do at least as good of a job as I would.

Some day God will send her her man and they will make their own family. But for now, I am glad to have her around helping me. He physical presence and help is worth more than any amount of cash. Her value to me is above Rubies.

The saint of the NICU | Conversion Diary
I've been following Jennifer's blog for several years. This is the touching story of God's provision for her son in ICU last year.

I do think what she is trying to say in giving God credit for the ministry of a man who doesn't believe in God is "I believe God sent you to us as a tremendous blessing. Thank you."

Mom, Will You Homeschool Me? - Jenni and Jody

This woman did the wisest thing I have ever heard a mom do. She PRAYED about it, honestly listening to God's reply and trusting Him to provide, no matter what the answer.

Have YOU prayed about how God wants YOUR children educated? Or have you just concluded that it's not possible and dismissed all options but public school?

God designed the family and intended it's members to help each other in hard times. He did not intend for the kids to go one way, mom another, and dad still another. The ideal family works together for their common goals, physically being together. 

Whether this means a daughter helping mom out into her 20's, a grandpa sacrificing sleep to care for a sick grandkid, or a family choosing to be content with the kids God does or doesn't send, God's ways are best.


  1. First your first link is incorrect. It took me to a story about some random sports team. I looked up the article you are speaking of though, and here is a corrected link:

    Second, I find it interesting that you are against surrogacy. I would love to learn more about your feelings. The article you posted is merely propaganda.

  2. I apologize for the bad link. Don't know just what happened there.

    Honestly I find most articles to be just propaganda for someone or another. It's just harder to notice them as such when you agree with them.

    It is very, very seldom I agree with someone from NOW. The bio's at the end of the article:
    "Kathleen Sloan, a Connecticut-based feminist leader, is a board member of the National Organization for Women and the International Coalition for Reproductive Justice. Jennifer Lahl, from the San Francisco Bay area, is founder and president of the Center for Bioethics and Culture."

    But in this case I do.

    First of all, I believe a civilized society must consider the interests of the least powerful first, the most, last.

    The least powerful person in a surrogacy arrangement is Baby. If my Hubby and I were to create a child through the natural acts of married life, and then, after the baby was born, run an auction on eBay to sell that child, would that be moral? What If I sold my adorable current two year old? How about my ten year old? My nineteen year old, 6'2" son? When does it become immoral to sell human beings? How big does that person have to be before it's wrong?

    An unborn child is a baby just as much as my two year old, only a whole lot more helpless.

    This makes surrogacy nothing less than human trafficking. Baby is the product being sold.

    No matter how much the feminists like to yell about a "woman's right to control her own body," the fact is that we don't really believe that. It is illegal for a woman to choose to pump meth into her very own veins. It is illegal for her to sell her very own bodily organs. It is illegal for her to sell the temporary use of her sex organs. Yet for some reason it's OK for her to create a new human being inside her own body for the purpose of selling him on the human trade market?

    Isn't surrogacy in fact prostitution without the fun part?

    And there is nothing about the arrangement that is actually in the interests of the mother. She gets cash, but at the loss of a child she nurtured and grown inside herself. I have had 13 pregnancies ending in 9 live births and can tell you there IS a link between mom and the unborn child. To break that tie for the purpose of money is cruel to the mom.

    The only ones surrogacy is good for is the rich couple. Only a society that worships money above all would think that being rich enough to buy a baby would automatically make people good parents. And why aren't these people adopting the babies already here who are so desperately in need of a good home? It's not like there are no babies available, especially for those with money.

    The entire surrogacy issue removes the humanity from Baby, enslaves Mommy (read the story of Hagar and Sarah in the Bible), and rewards the selfish rich. There is no benefit to society and it is immoral. To allow an immoral, to encode it, is wrong and will bring the wrath of God eventually.

  3. First, thank you for answering my question so thoroughly. I have not met many people who are against surrogacy, so I find this subject fascinating.

    Do you feel the same way with adoption? In the end, both result in a baby being raised by someone who did not birth them. Private infant adoption often has quite a bit of money changing hands between the adoptive parents and the birth/first mother.

    I find it hard to compare surrogacy with prostitution. I find that a bit of a dishonest comparison because a surrogate is not someone selling their body for sex. Offering your womb is not the same as offering your body for a man (or woman) to have pleasure with. Biblical I cannot seem to draw the same connections you have.

    Addressing your paragraph about the interests of the mother. Again I just wonder if you feel the same way about private infant adoption. The mother relinquishes her child upon birth, in the same way a surrogate does. It also happens when a child is taken by the state from the mother and placed in custody. Do you feel that no woman is capable of carrying a child she honestly does not want to parent?

    Do you feel that someone can be an altruistic surrogate? Carrying a child, presumably from their egg and sperm, and not getting monetarily rewarded. If you take money out of the situation, which if I understand correctly is your main objection in the surrogacy process, do you feel that surrogacy is in the natural order?

    Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions and engaging in friendly conversation. I find your responses to be very pleasant and well thought out.

  4. Thank you so for your comments. I enjoy them too.

    I was thinking last night about the difference in adoption and surrogacy. Especially on the surface there doesn't appear to be much.

    I do believe there is a difference in a woman "accidentally" getting pregnant and offering the baby to someone who can be a better parent, a couple taking in children whose parents the state has deemed unfit (my brother adopted three boys this way), or a child whose parents have abandoned him or died being taken into a childless home (I had a friend who adopted four children this way), and intentionally creating a child for profit.

    The first three examples are couples being generous and showing love. The last is narcissistic at best.

    The first three are an attempt at restoring God's natural order in a fallen world. The last selfish acquisitions of "goods" or status. (Understand, I know the pain of childlessness. I had an uncle and my brother who were both not blessed with children in the natural way. I have lived the grief with them both.)

    We have come to believe in this culture that being uncomfortable or unhappy is evil and everyone has the right to do whatever it takes to get whatever they want, Just because a couple is unhappy doesn't mean they should have their desires fulfilled.

    And do you realize a child could easily have five parents? Sperm doner, egg doner, surrogate, and adoptive parents? How in the world could that possibly accounted for in God's design?

    A mother who intentionally creates a child for the purpose of "adopting out" (at a price) would be exactly the same as any other surrogate mom. The woman who lovingly chooses her surprise child a better home is in a totally different class.

  5. The reason I see surrogacy as a form of prostitution is because I link the sex act with reproduction. The fun aspect was intended to be a reward, not the purpose. Yes, sex has other purposes, but ultimately it's main one is reproduction. I see little difference between pregnancy resulting from the sex act or from a sterile doctor visit. I see little difference in renting a vagina and renting a womb. And 80 years ago the sex act meant the "risk" of pregnancy even in prostitution. Today's situation where we so easily separate the two is totally due to 80% of American women taking cancer causing little pills or having surgeries to break perfectly good reproductive systems. It is not natural, and I believe not healthy- direct violations of God's design. It also skews our view of babies as some luxury item instead of the natural results of married life, human beings and blessings from God.

    I actually did know an altruistic surrogate once. Very nice lady. And she was very pleased to be helping the childless couple have a child (she already had five of her own). On her part, it was an act of love. But why didn't the couple adopt some of those beautiful little girls in China who face a life of certain prostitution? or a child from Africa whose parents were killed in war (instead of spending all the money to come to America from Australia, and pay for the surrogate's medical bills)? They were not looking to raise children for God so much as they were coveting babies from their own womb (don't know their religious affiliation.) These are not the same goals as adoption at all. And, yes, intentions count.

    I also once read about a woman who offered to have a baby for her sister whose two children had just been killed in an accident. Yes, I could see that as a different classification on the part of the mom from a woman who is selling her child. But these situations could be arranged without government approval and help, and, in fact, have been being arranged throughout human history.

    Ultimately, if you believe life comes from God, then there just might be a reason He chose not to give a certain couple babies. Some of the most wanted children become some of the most abused because the parents have unrealistic expectations and are so selfish. Some infertility is just the result of The Fall. Some because God has a calling for the couple to do that would not permit them to be good parents. Some as punishment or to protect the baby. We must be very careful not to go around His will. Creating a baby for the purpose of selling it is, I am pretty confident in saying, NOT in God's will.


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